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The Art of Growing Up
Below are the 10 most recent journal entries.
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2005.01.08 18.36
I had the notion that you'd make me change my ways
My bad habits would be gone in a matter of days
I had the feeling that you'd open up my eyes
To a whole new world that had since been in disguise
But that day will most likely never come for me
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
To everything you are
So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures
And overanalyze your words
But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard
It's taking everything in me
Just to forget your sweater so far
I had the notion that you'd make me forget the world
But your undecisive mind shows me that
You are "just another girl"
I had the feeling that those looks you gave me were real
What if I ripped your heart apart at the seams
Maybe then you'd know how I feel
But that day will most likely never come for me
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
To everything you are
So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures
And overanalyze your words
But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard
It's taking everything in me
Just to forget your sweater so far
I can honestly say
That I never, ever, ever felt this way
Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin
These are the parts of your body
That cause my comatose to begin
I can honestly say
That I never, ever, ever felt this way
Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin
These are the parts of your body
That cause my comatose to begin
I will sleep another day
I don't really need to anyway
What's the point when my dreams are infected
With words you used to say
I will breathe in a moment
As long as I keep my distance
I wouldn't want to go messing anything up
So don't go worrying about me
It's not like I think about you constantly
So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect
Your life anymore
I knew it the moment you walked into the door
So don't go worrying about me
It's not like I think about you constantly
So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect
Your life anymore
I knew it the moment you walked into the door
I'll let you get the best of me
Because there's nothing else that I do well
I'll let you get the best of me
Because there's nothing else that I do well
I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
I guess that's how this one's gonna go I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
You've got me down on my knees and I proclaim
All hail the heartbreaker
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2005.01.02 05.26
It's funny cos it's true.
Ok, just a quick clear-up entry...cos I'm too lazy to reply to comments on my last post.
To the BDF-ers: I'm sorry babes...I'll be on msn still, (thekonstantineplacebo@hotmail.com) and in BDF occasionally if you want to talk to me, and feel free to drop me an e-mail anytime you like. I never use AIM anymore, so dont expect me online through that. I miss you all loads, and I hope you're all doing well.
To Sab, Helen and Jess: Sorry I always seem to arrive, participate and dissapear, I really do feel bad about it :( If it helps at all (although I doubt it) I more or less stopped visiting ALL the messageboards I belonged to, I went through a very offline stage, and when I came back I didn't go back to any of my old haunts. I've been severing ties left right and centre, but theres no real reason...I'm just not feeling very online-social recently.
To Lemmy and all at DYP: argh guys....I love you so much. I'll try to get there sometime soon...catch up or at least see whats been going on in your lives. Like I said before...I've been very anti-social recently, mainly skulking around MSN and avoiding most community type places. I'm not sure why...it just happened. You guys have done so much for me though, helped me through some of the really bad times of the last half of this year, and you remain in my heart.
I hope everyone had a good christmas and New Year. I....drank too much. We'll leave it at that. Please feel free to drop me an e-mail or add me on msn, This new anti-social-ness isn't a remark on the effect any of you guys have had on me, it's just my weird mind trying to sort through and simplify things. My journal at deviantart usually has whats going on in my life, so feel free to check that if for some reason you're wondering how I'm doing. Love you all, and hope this next year serves you well.
xx
 | You scored as Emo & More. Emo and Screamo.
Emo & More | | 75% | Ska | | 67% | Punk and Pop Punk. | | 63% | Indie | | 50% | Classic Rock. | | 46% | Indie Rock | | 46% | Britpop | | 42% | Hardcore | | 33% | Industrial | | 29% | Hip Hop and Rap | | 29% | Mainstream | | 29% | Country | | 4% | </td>
Music Recommendation
created with QuizFarm.com |
Mood:  blank
Music: the faint with bright eyes - dust
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2004.12.30 11.39
Final Countdown
DRACO MALFOY
Which Harry Potter Boy Are You Made For?
brought to you by Quizilla
xD ok I majorly messed with my answers (ok not so majorly...) but I got what I wanted so :P
I might am deleting my whole friends list, because all I use this journal for now is communities and shit.
Things have been bad recently, and good. I've learnt some lessons about how to treat people and how to treat myself, and college life is looking up. I still can't decide between Uni and America....we'll see closer to the time.
xx
Mood:  amused
Music: counting crows - colorblind
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2004.11.22 13.38
six months
jesus christ.
six months. so much can happen, change.
so very many things.
I think I'm stronger now. I think I'm a better person. I honestly believe that I have grown up, moved on, moved forward. A little part of me will always stay in the calender slot of May 21st, but I think that the rest of me will continue to move forward, onwards, upwards, towards the future.
For those of you who know what I'm talking about, I love you, and thank you so much for being there constantly over the past half a year. Thank you for dealing with the tears and anger and all the shit I've thrown at you since then. You didnt have to, and I had no right to expect it, but you did, and you'll never know how grateful I am.
RD, you get special mention, and I'm eternally grateful to you. You've grabbed my hand and stopped me from walking away from everything so many times.
For those of you who dont, dont ask, I clearly dont trust you enough.
Mood:  thoughtful
Music: keasby nights - the catch 22
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2004.11.03 19.50
APPEAL TO MAH LONDON HOMIES!!
OK, so this is a desperate cry for help. if anyone is goign to placebo on friday, or even has friday free, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE spend it with me. i'm gonna be there from about 6 or 7 in the morning, and i need to be mates with someone in the cue so i can go to college at 1.
If you're going anyway, please meet me, i'd of course let you elbow in one my (what is almost certainly going to be) front row places, and all yopu'd have to do would be turn up before noon and keep my place for me.
if you're not going but are free on friday, plleeeaasseeee come and meet me so i can get someone to save my place. i'd buy you food and crap. and love you forever.
*pouts*
i dont want to cue up the whole day and then get back from college only to have to go to the back of the line.
*********
"I just want to be pretty. I just wanted you to think I was worth something."
"Arent they the same thing?"
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2004.09.02 00.24
I'm scared, and I'm tired, and I miss my friends. I want to go to woolwich again, so why cant I? Why has it suddenly become something that terrifies me?
I think I've drifted too far away. I burned that bridge a little bit too much, and now I cant re-build no matter how hard I try.
I miss you guys so much. :'(
Mood:  sad
Music: 70x7 - brand new
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2004.08.27 20.55
"Whats your life ambition?" "To get out of it alive."
Heres the scenario. you're driving down this beautiful road... the scenery is nice, the music couldn't get any better and the weather is perfect. But suddenly you steer off course from some unknown (or known) cause and now you're heading through this crazy jungle where it feels like there is no end. Your car keeps going, it doesn't necessarily hit any of the trees or shrubs, it just jerks to get out of the way. And with each jerk you pick up a scratch or a scar you realize that they heal ever so quickly. So you hold on... and you just wait it out... because at the other end there has to be sunshine. There has to be.
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2004.03.21 13.06
Friends Only
This journal is Friends Only sweethearts. Please comment if you wish me to add you.
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[ kndfjebfkrbl3j ]
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